Are we in a relationship or competition?

So really people, whats your definition of being in a relationship nowadays? 

- It is just to show the society that your wanted by someone? 
- To feel special in someone's life?
- To feel like your someone's priority?
- To avoid the feeling of emptiness/loneliness? 
- To update your Facebook, Insta, Wechat everyday to show people how much your being loved by your other half? 

''RELATIONSHIP OR COMPETITION''

I personally feel that nowadays relationships are like a ''competition'' among many group of friends, just to have that one person to be always by your side no matter whatsoever ups and downs hit on you, to feel that your not alone in this, to have some physical affections from one another because obviously there's no doubt hugs, kisses, intimacy are so exciting and you feel really loved from there but asked yourself people, is it just a temporarily love? 

And to some, it is just for fame, sex & wealth? Is it because your lack of attention from your family and so you seek it from outsiders? Or your taking a person as a rebound in your life? Some are even just using their partner's fame to be noticeable. There are so many side factors yet to be considered in a relationship as both genders are two different creatures.

I asked many friends of mine. Both boys and girls. It is really simple of what they really seek from a relationship. 

GUYS seek for loyalty, genuine love, kindness, care and a girlfriend who can always stand by his side to help him thru all those storms that he has to go through. Feel comfortable and can trust her.

 Looks is just a small bonus point. But the heart is everything. (These are the answers I got from guys whom I've asked)

GIRLS seek for loyalty, protection, to feel special in only her man's eyes, a man who is always one step ahead of her. Lead & help guide them in life. Help them with their self-confidence, always reminding them of how much they mean to you despite all the other better girls out there. Can be trusted, reliable. 

 Really pay attention to them when they're sharing about their problems in life & not by just being there physically but your mind isn't there anymore. Sense of belonging, their love being treasured by their man. The effort they put in dressing up for hours are being noticed & then complimented by their man.

( all these may seemed alot but trust me guys, when you really love that particular girl, to you, all this comes naturally. it isn't a request anymore but is about your willingness to it)

And so, guys & girls, after reading what I've wrote about the desires of both genders which I've asked so far in my circle of friends & some other hi bye people cause I'm alone in this, do you guys realized that there is nothing such as the word '' BEAUTY '', '' FAME '', '' WEALTH '' , '' SEX '' ? 

Then you guys will be questioning yourself, why the girl I've dated only want to hop in big cars? Why do they dress up so ''materialistic'' and only wants to go to high class restaurants? Why do they put tons of makeup knowingly that guys already said beauty is just a small bonus point while the heart is everything else? Why girls are dating wealthier guys or direct jump into bed with guys that has his fame in public? So so many tons of questions from different guys out there.

Then girls, some of you asked yourself if guys really only seek for all that I've mentioned above, why the guys I've met so far only wants sex from me and they seek for pretty, hot girls? Why they dont appreciate my genuine care & love which I've invested so much in them and get shits back in return? 

BELIEVE it or no, firstly, 

                                   it is the influenced of social medias that tries to show about how beauty is the perfection of everything. Advertisement that has becoming more sex appeal, everything in life is about those FOUR that I've mentioned which is being shown out in our very own eyes, repeatedly over & over again, and no offense, being neglected by parents is ONE of the very BIG MAJOR roles too. 

                                So when children are being neglected by parents, not being educated properly about all those FOUR, thats when they seek for ''guidance & teaching'' which they think is right because parents are too busy with the very hectic working reality life that they spend so little time at home knowing their children more. 

So from one basic foundation, it leads to another and it keeps on going repeatedly. So to young generation nowadays, social medias is their life. 

It connects and relate to their feelings, to what they want to feed themselves with. They want a role model to look up to. They want to fit in the society and feel apart of it. And thats how relationship nowadays are becoming so unreal. 

because everyone is being so exposed to the social medias so they're not satisfied with so many things around them & are always craving for more & more. Some ended up having a few partners because of insecurities, and they cant stick to only ONE person. They want to try different varieties and thats how other gets hurt and changed. We want to explore more of our options and yet at the same time, we want to keep that particular person who loves us dearly while continue hunting for others.

Its more like a competition now, whose sweeter on Valentine's day. Whose boyfriend/girlfriend is hotter, wealthier, has everything that the world is describing as ''perfection''. We're all blinded by all these because of a few simple things in life that we really want....

LOVE

APPRECIATED

TREASURED

NOTICEABLE

FEEL SPECIAL

CARE  TRUST

SENSE OF BELONGING

        

And because of all these simple basic that we find it so hard to get these days because everyone's mind is being deceived by the ''perfection'' of what social medias has to offer, so we tend to go the wrong way, such as seeking attention by using sex, cheating & lying to get to the top where tons of money is there, trying to go for makeups and plastic surgery cause deep down, you just wanna look as good as possible to attract people to notice you and then comes with acceptance from the society

 ''feel special, sense of belonging, appreciated, treasured, noticeable''

but then asked yourself again, whats life to you when you only live ONCE for it? 

It is so worth it to keep on striving for ''perfection'' when you actually know no one is perfect and that includes you and the more you fight for all this, it'll eventually drained you out emotionally and mentally? And as you aged, you look back and realized you've wasted so much time to achieve all these when you could actually in return live a life which is way happier than all these and you feel that you've not wasted a single bit of it? 

Different people has their own views of wanting to live their life but again, ask yourself, are you really living that life for yourself? Or is it to please the society or your family's expectations and to bring up your family's name and to make yourself look good/proud when facing your relatives?

                                 All these things may seemed so small now but trust me, when it adds up, not only it counts so much and it is that one thing which molds your life and then you can start asking yourself, is this really the path I wanted for myself or was it what my family or people around me wanted me to be? And then was I just trying to lift up to their expectations or my own goals in life? 

Something for you people to think about.

Ps : I know there are tons of people being trapped in sex addiction, drugs, or being mistreated by your other half and yet, you cant seemed to let him/her go. Your mentally & emotionally trapped in their ''games''. You feel that their the only one whom you want in your life and without them, your lost, you feel hopeless, lost of sense of direction or even identity and yet you dont know who to turned to, I'm not saying I'm all that pro but again, 

I KNOW HOW IT FEELS. So to those who finally feels that they want to approach me regarding their troubled feelings, please feel free to do so. I ain't perfect as well but I'm doing my best to try to help people around me and yes, your P&C are safe with me. I'll usually delete unwanted messages either on FB or messages in my phone for safety precautions. 

I'll be going into sensitive issues but yet so common on the internet, sex and also other different areas. Thanks for your time to read my blog. If you were to get my Facebook through my blog please let me know your my reader, or else, I will not approve but only reply. For safety precautions. Thanks for understanding. 

My upcoming name card